porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
