p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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