lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
send nudes
from the living room?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
