he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize