this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Pooping to opera.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize