I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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