Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
