dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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