if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
