is your mom at the bar?
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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