If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
