Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
