Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
