You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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