Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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