Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
