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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize