honey bunches of taint.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
