So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
