Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
