the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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