We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
