he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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