Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
