You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
