..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
cat food counts as protein by the way
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
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