i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
