I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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