guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
