you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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