Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
