Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
