thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
