I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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