The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
