think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
