How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize