even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
