last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
