Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
