I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
