so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
