i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize