i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
