so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
