This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
