Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He? As in you personified your dick?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
