at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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