Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
