just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
