Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
This is the high leading the old right now
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
