are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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