oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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