I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
