somebody snuck up and got me drunk
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
