Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
