he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
