Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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