So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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