I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
