The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize