Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
