i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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