spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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