Small penises have feelings too.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
