Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
