He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
