I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
