kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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