I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize