I feel like I'm in dance class right now
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
