So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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