Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
