i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
