im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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