I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
