So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The best revenge is premature balding
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
