sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
