Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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