i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
