Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
