i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
this just has baby written all over it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
